Nothing felt quite great. Life, in general, had hit rock bottom.
I remember battling it out at work everyday. All day, hoping the day would end soon. And when it did – I remember feeling a lump in my throat, as my mind went vacant enough to realize how truly terrible things were. My ride back home was about 30 minutes. But everyday, during that phase, I turned up the music and drove till I felt better. And you know what, it almost always did.
Music has been a dear friend since forever. I know, I know…we all love music. Who doesn’t? But for me – music has always meant much much more.
For me – songs have filled in places that people could never fill…express emotions I didn’t know a thing about…make me realize how beautiful a moment was…add purpose and clarity…and sometimes…fill a void that seemed impossible to overcome. Music has always been my hero. My best friend.
And hey – it isn’t just about the sad moments. Most of the happiest moments in my life so far felt even more magical because of music.
I clearly remember the song that played when we got married. His eyes gleamed as we looked at each other. I remember that it was then that it hit me – “It is all happening!”, I thought.
When we threw Dad a surprise retirement party – we chose some of the best retro music from his college days. It was amazing to see him and his friends enjoy the night with their favourite music. Smiling, laughing, dancing…a side of him I had totally forgotten, given his long workaholic stints with jobs before.
We went to Paris a few years ago, and planned our trip in a way that would ensure we could see one of our favourite bands perform LIVE – Coldplay. After a wide array of ups and downs – we made it. Throughout the concert, we screamed at the top of our lungs as our favourite songs played. One after the other. A beer in one hand, and each others’ hands in the other – life could not get any better.
I remember when my daughter was born. She popped out early. Way early. Nothing was ready. Nuh-uh. Not nearly there. And there she was – wanting it out already. I was in early labor, and I distinctly recall Bono mumbling ‘With Or Without You’ in our car stereo as we drove to the hospital ER like a scene out of an action movie. It all happened too quickly. She was born soon after we landed at the hospital. I pinched myself to realize what had happened in a matter of hours – but it still felt like a dream. “I need to wake up”, I thought. A few days later, as we swaddled that tiny baby up and left for home in our car – he turned up the car stereo. It was a perfect drive home with the little one. We both were in love all over again…with the little one, and this thing called life.
Music has always had a therapeutic role to play in my life. It has always found me, and vice versa. And I continue to rely on this companion for the rest of my life…to make things more meaningful and everything bizzarely beautiful. If I could spend all my life doing nothing but listening to music – I’d be in paradise. And THAT’S the plan for years down the line.
“Music can change the world, because it can change people” – Bono